Never Miss the Opportunity to Say Absolutely Nothing

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General John Vessey, Jr. is one of the most important Americans of the 20th Century that you’ve likely never heard of. Born in the great state of Minnesota, General Vessey is the only American in history to go from Private (the lowest rank in the military) to Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

Enlisting in the pre-WWII Army at the age of 17, Vessey first saw combat in Africa before fighting in Italy and receiving a battlefield commission as a Second Lieutenant. Vessey’s combat did not end in WWII. As a Lt. Colonel in Vietnam Vessey was awarded the Distinguished Service Cross, the second highest award for valor in the US Military.

Vessey continued to have a distinguished military career retiring in 1985 as the 10th Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the highest rank in the US Military aside from the Commander-in-Chief. I was fortunate enough to see General Vessey speak prior to his death in 2016.

Unsurprisingly, General Vessey was a unique, thoughtful, and assertive leader. During the question and answer portion of his speech that I attended someone asked him the advice he gives most frequently to aspiring leaders. His answer has always stuck with me.

As a young man considering my own time in the military I had expected some rugged answer about courage, endurance, or integrity. It struck me as odd that the highest ranking officer of one of the greatest militaries in history at the height of its Pax Americana power advocated silence as a leadership virtue above all else.

I heard General Vessey speak more than a decade ago and I’ve been thinking about his advice ever since.

Kill your ego by listening better

There is perhaps no worse trait a leader can have than a big ego. Ego is the slow degradation of all would be great teams as it robs a leader and their team of the ability to create a meritocracy where ideas and results matter more than rank and tenure. The death of ego has been and always will be the birth of understanding.

Ego free leaders are those who endure. The best way to destroy your own ego is to spend more time listening to those around you than you do talking. I’m a chatty guy, so General Vessey’s advice is something I need to constantly remind myself of. Leaders rally others to their cause by shutting their mouths and opening their minds.

Avoid tunnel vision

In the Marines one of the most common pieces of coaching given to squad leaders is to, “fight with your squad, not your rifle.” The advice is meant to remind young leaders that the greatest leverage they can create on the battlefield is to coordinate the actions of their squad rather than focusing on a narrow portion of the fight for the purposes of their own valor.

Commonly referred to as “tunnel vision”, this inability to see the entire board is one of the biggest mistakes any leader can make. “Stop fighting, step back” is the cue often given to young NCOs learning small unit tactics for the first time. In the corporate world “fighting” could be substituted for “talking”.

When we’re so caught up in making our own point we often fail to read the room, gather important information, or pressure test our plans by asking for other ideas. Don’t be the leader so focused on your own agenda that you mistake the forest for the trees. Stop talking, step back.

Applied curiosity

Listening well is a form of applied curiosity. I’ve written before about my love of curiosity and there’s no doubt that the best way to cultivate your own curiosity is to become a better listener. If curiosity is the foundation of emotional intelligence, then “never missing the opportunity to say absolutely nothing” is one of the best tactical ways to help someone develop EQ.

Truly curious leaders are a magnet for other talented individuals as talented people want to work for interesting leaders who are as hungry to improve themselves as they are to help improve those they lead. There is no better way to activate this magnet than to be more interested in those you lead than yourself. You show this to them by being a great listener.

Conclusion

As we close out the year, it’s a great time to reflect on those areas in your own leadership journey that you’re most keen to develop in the years to come. There’s no better way to reflect than to shut your mouth and listen.

Thank you General Vessey for both your lifetime of service and your great advice.

“Never miss the opportunity to say absolutely nothing.”